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Part 86 土味情话大赛(3)(1 / 2)

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幸亏其他两位评委还算理智,默默举起“3分”、“2分”的牌子。

鸡厂老板根本不管皮蛋厂老板,拿起话筒就点评:“回去好好跟你的熊大过日子,别再砍树了!还有,好好锻炼语文能力!”

说完就摆摆手,示意下一位选手上场。

于是光头强选手最终获得4.67的分数下了台。

第二位上台的正是南边的瘸腿王大爷,王大爷拄着拐杖上台,一旁的主持人连忙搀扶了几把,马翠翠也赶紧搬了把椅子上去,才让王大爷坐在了台上。

王大爷坐定就开口开始做三行诗:“啊——老婆子——就是我的腿子

你属狗,算是狗腿子,

我离不开你!”

声音洪亮而坚定,语气诚恳而深情,但是内容嘛……

众人憋着笑,朝王大爷的老婆看去,只见老太太已经彻底黑了脸,笑也不是,怒也不是,一脸尴尬,忙给台上丢脸的老家伙使眼色让他赶紧滚下台去。

王大爷却是非常硬气,非让评委打分了才肯下台,于是鸡场老板和皮蛋厂小胡子纷纷给了“5分”,只有那个年轻大学生模样的姑娘心软一点,出于对残疾老同志的同情,给了“5.5分”。

不过好歹比光头强强那么一点,得到了5.17分。

九千离看了看旁边早就笑歪了的冯澄澄,默默地伸过去一根胳膊,冯澄澄这才笑着攀上九千离的胳膊,才保持自己没笑得趴在地上。

“九千,这些人真是太幽默了!”冯澄澄笑得力气都没了。

九千离看着她笑,心里也不由自主开心起来,他也觉得这些很有意思,以前的生活还真的没有碰到冯澄澄以后开心自在。

白溯真嘴角也勾着一抹笑,开口接冯澄澄的话,“我很少接触这些人类,没想到都是些淳朴善良得有点蠢的,跟以前的人们很不一样。”

“这些人跟城市里的还真的有点不一样,”冯澄澄也表示赞同,出身暴发户的她,从小接触的都是些最好的,圈子里也都是有钱有势的,可是那种圈子,里面的龌龊事更是一堆,还真的不如这些乡村里的人干净自在。“好像大家都是来捧个场,凑在一起热闹一下,还真没把奖金什么的放在心上。”

“要不然咱们也上去随便说一说算了,金钱这么俗……”九千离也接着话往下说。

“不行!”冯澄澄连忙掐了一下被自己攀住的胳膊,捏得九千离瞬间变了脸。

“你们真是不知道养一大家子人多么不容易,现在一共六个人,吝啬鬼吃得多,你吃得挑,郝梧桐一天吃五顿,还有小美人鱼、叶小姬时不时带着家属来蹭饭,就连那个蠢鸵鸟眼见着吃叶子都吃得越来越多了,你不会是想让我们以后喝西北风去吧!”冯澄澄痛心疾首,真是不当家不知柴米贵啊,现在对她来说,一个会赚钱的老头是多么的宝贵!

“再说了……”冯澄澄瞥了一眼白溯真,“这人是个蛇妖,你难道指望他跟我们一起吃腌竹笋和蒸南瓜?”

果然耳朵凌厉的白溯真笑眯眯地接话:“我吃肉。”

“呸!”九千离恨恨反驳,“你什么道行,你还用得着吃饭吗你?!”

“你跟我差不多的你不也每天吃得挺香的?还天天缠着某人给你买小鱼干。”白溯真云淡风轻地说着,眼睛里却是满满的鄙夷。

九千离被噎住了,这死蛇妖,他懂个屁,他那是撒娇好吗?!

“就是!还天天吵着要吃小鱼干!”冯澄澄立马和白溯真同仇敌忾。

“哼,等着吧,本大人今天就把第一名给你夺过来,拿那五千块,一张一张叠个爱心送给你,给你送五千个!”九千离气急败坏,放出豪言壮语。

“别想了,那五千块我要定了。”仿佛是和九千离杠上了,白溯真一脸玩味地断绝九千离的想法。

“你休想!”

“你才休想。”

“你这死蛇妖!”

“你这蠢猫妖。”

“你这个冷血动物!”

“你这蠢得要死的生物。”

“……”冯澄澄默,凉凉地开口,“你们能不能好歹绕过我再对骂,把我夹在中间对着我骂算怎么回事?”

“……”

“……”

终于在吵吵闹闹中,几人的团队终于要上场了。

主持人上台叫下一位选手:“下一位,第三十六位选手,周扒皮……嗯?周扒皮?”

吝啬鬼立马站起身,小跑着就上了台。

冯澄澄还在想谁的名字这么土,等吝啬鬼上了台才想起来吝啬鬼的全名就叫周扒皮啊!

“大家好我叫周扒皮,我这三行诗想送给我的女儿芽儿,她已经去世很久了,但是我很想她,也知道她过得很好!”吝啬鬼倒是一板一眼,说话很是真诚,接着就开始念自己的三行诗:“

芽儿,你是世界上最好的礼物

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