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第五十三章(1 / 2)

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举例就举例,那年也较了真,随口吟道:“窗前明月光。”

“快说快说,下面是什么?”那个同学催促道。

“你妈脱光光”年是幂思苦想终于又挤出一句。

“哈哈”几个同学笑的前仰后合,又催促道:“快点,快点。”

年稍作沉思继续道:“你爸贼眼光。”

在几个同学的嬉笑催促下,那年又大声补上一句,“吃你妈耳光。”

“窗前明月光,你妈脱光光。你爸贼眼光,吃你妈耳光。”几个同学几番咀嚼,嬉笑声中,不觉来了兴致,其中有个提议道:“不妨我们也吟上几首。”

“好啊好啊。”就听一人吟道:“好雨知时节,当春乃发生,随风潜入夜,润物细无声。”

“好诗啊好诗。”见有人赞赏,那个同学仿佛更来了精神,细观眼前之美景,不觉脱口吟道:“窈窕一淑女,君子也好逑。”

两句吟完,不觉僵立在那儿,再无下言,几个同学也是苦思良久,接不上去,这时其中一人高声喊道:“年哪,快补两句吧。”就听那年随口吟道:“求到了之后,两手赶快揉。”

“混账!”一句骂声传来,不但那几个同学立马鸦雀无声,年也感到是魂飞魄散,因为这个声音正是那孔老夫子的声音,年抬眼一望,就见那孔老夫子一改往日之斯文相,两手叉腰,面孔红涨,怒眼圆瞪:“食色,性也,窈窕淑女,君子好逑,多么好的一句话,被你年活活糟蹋了,明天早上,你先到教室里的黑板上写一份公开检查,写的好拉到,写得不好,我立即将你逐出师门。”说完气冲冲的走了。

没有办法,写吧,不就是一份检查嘛,我年要是连这一点文笔都没有的话,还出来混个鬼啊,对,要先打个腹稿,待到明早是一气呵成,让你孔老夫子瞧瞧也没白收了我年一场,我把你老夫子吹捧上天去,看你还怎么将我逐出师门。

说到做到,那年在床上辗转反侧,苦思冥想,直到自己感到满意了,立马起来,跑到教室里,点亮了火把,找到半截粉笔,是刷刷点点,龙飞凤舞,一挥而就。

“好,回去睡大觉去咯。”正在迷糊之中,就见有人将他推醒,年揉了揉惺忪的眼睛,见是同宿舍的一个同学,忙问何事,那个同学说道:“不好了,老师正在为你写的检查大发雷霆呢。”

“不会吧,我的那份检查除了好话,还是好话,简直是把老师捧上了天,他怎么会生气呢?”

其实那年本性不坏,而且确确实实也有点小聪明,见那老师孔子一改往日之谦谦君子的形象,年就感觉出孔老夫子最近肯定是遇到了什么不开心的事,既然老师心情不大好,那么,我就想办法哄哄你逗逗你,让你开心一笑,事情吗,也就能打发过去了。

因此,年的这份检查在构思上就是多说一些恭维的话,来拍孔老夫子的马屁的,因为年知道,对于人来说,什么都没有马屁管用,可以说年的这份检查写的还是满有水平的,但是,就是因为里面有了几个错别字,意思就好象有点大相径庭了。为了让读者朋有望个仔细瞧的明白,我现在就将那年的这份检查原文抄录如下:

检查

昨天,我正与几个同学在郊外淫尸作乐,不知怎么老师就冒了出来,并对我等之行为大惊小怪,大呼小叫,大发雷霆,并责令我写检查,不就是一份检查吗,写就写呗。

如果我的读者朋友当中有做老师的,再假设你就是那孔子,不知对年的这份检查的开篇会感觉如何,先不说此淫尸作乐与彼吟诗作乐在实际行为上有什么多大的差别,就是在那语气上也令孔子当时是只感到天昏地暗,眼前是金星乱冒,但似乎又是漆黒一团。

还好,如果不是因为前面正好有个讲台来给他两手扶住的话,那孔老夫子就准备一屁股坐到地上算了。

过了也不知多长时间,那老夫子总算回过神来,强迫自己一定要坚持住,看看这个家伙到底这份检查是怎么来检查的。

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